CP9's Naruto
by TheDemon'sRemorse
Summary: Naruto was simply searching for a new teacher. When he botches up a summoning jutsu, he ends up being dragged into a new world. [Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or One Piece. If I did, I really wouldn't be writing this would I?]/ So anyways, pairings are completely up to you, if I like them, if not, it ain't gonna work, or it's just gonna be less than a chapter.
1. Chapter 1

another story. I had a dream about a cop beating up his partner because he was black and let a criminal get away, and then it evolved into most of CP9 beating up a little kid (btw, that kid was me, got no idea how that happened, I wonder if my brain is masochistic or something) all the while the song 'Don't You Worry Child' was playing in my head, freaky no?

* * *

Naruto was _supposed_ to be training for the Chunin Final Exam, instead, he found himself looking for a new teacher. _Ugh... where the heck am I supposed to find a willing teacher?_ Naruto wondered, _hey look, a pervert. Should I? Should I not? Hm... decisions decisions._ Naruto inhaled as deeply as he could and shouted at the top of his lungs, "OI! ERO-BAKA WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT THE WOMAN'S SIDE OF THE BATH?"

Naruto laughed as he fell down off the tree and into the baths. After a few moments where there was a lot of girly shrieks, and pain filled shouts, a beaten up censored piece of... something... flew out.

Naruto continued to howl with laughter as the white haired man muttered a stream of curses while attempting to stand up. Well as you can see 'attempting' being the key word. At last, after falling down 21 times, he finally got into a sitting position and shouted, "OI! WHAT WERE YOU DOING, I FINALLY GOT SOME GOOD RESEARCH MATERIAL AND YOU DECIDE TO RUIN IT!?"

"Research material? For what?" asked a suspicious Naruto.

"This," the white haired man said, pulling out two signed copies of Icha Icha: Paradise and Violence

Naruto sweatdropped, "So you're the idiot who wrote these idiotic books?"

The white haired man suddenly crouched into a dark and depressing corner, while poking at mushrooms with a stick. This made Naruto's sweatdrop even larger.

Suddenly the man popped back up and gave himself an award winning introduction as Jiraiya, the Toad Sage, and self-proclaimed **_SUPER_** **_PERVERT._**causing Naruto's sweatdrop to cover his entire body.

(A/N: I'm gonna skip the entire scene where Jiraiya is convinced to train him through the oiroke no jutsu, well basically just skip all the way to Right before his first summoning)

As Naruto went through the handsigns quickly, he accidentally botched up one of them. Finally, ending with his hand splayed out on the ground, he shouted out 'Kuchiyose no Jutsu.'

However, instead of summoning anything remotely like a toad, a doorway in the air suddenly appeared. Suddenly, a hand shot out, grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him through the doorway as it closed.

Meanwhile, Jiraiya was looking around the village looking for any good research material.

* * *

When Naruto passed out, he at first felt a strange peace within himself. However, eventually, he started feeling a stinging sensation, quickly evolving into a pain that felt as if he was on fire. He felt like his skin was being ripped off, his bones shrinking, his muscles condensing, his hair retracting. Suddenly, it wore off, and felt a cool and calming sensation. Then he felt his bones shifting around, and when he tried to fix his bones to fit properly, he felt that they did just that while his muscles moved to compensate for the sudden shift. When everything fit properly, he finally came to a quiet rest.

* * *

Naruto woke up and yawned slowly blinking the sleep out of his eyes. He looked around, and saw a mirror around the end of his bed. He looked at it and saw his own 6 year old face and yawned again. Looking around again, he noticed a sleeping young, blonde woman. He slowly got up and walked towards her, making sure that he made no sound, stopping next to her. He studied her face carefully before his stomach grumbled. He blushed as the woman snapped awake and looked at him. In turn, she blushed at being caught asleep, and then wondered how he got so close to her without waking her up.

She quickly got up and asked, "You didn't see anything right?"

Naruto didn't like to lie, but he felt something bad would happen if he didn't, so he quickly shook his head.

His stomach grumbled again, and he blushed even harder. The woman looked at him a swooned at his cute, embarrassed face.

She asked if he was hungry and when he nodded, she brought him to the kitchen, leaving to go take a shower. He opened the fridge and brought out noodles, soup base, miso, vegetables, and egg. He brought out a pot, and filled it halfway with water. He tried to set the pot on the stove, but it was too heavy for him to lug it up very much. He suddenly had an idea. He brought the pot onto a tray and set a board to reach up to the stove like a ramp, he reached into his systems and coated his feet and augmented his limbs with chakra.

He scratched his head, confused at how he did that, or even knew how to do that. However he continued to push the pot up the ramp. He turned on the stove and waited for the water to boil before sticking the dried noodles into it. He slowly got out a pan and cooked the eggs, seasoning them. When he turned back to the noodles, he turned off the fire and drained the noodles. He added more water and began to cook the miso soup, bringing it to a boil.

He found a bowl somewhere in the cabinets and filled it with noodles and the miso soup.

He brought the bowl over to a table and said 'itadakimasu' and was about to take a bite when he thought of something. "WHERE THE HECK AM I ANYWAYS!?" he shouted.

"Hm? Oh, you just thought of that? I expected you to ask that earlier," came a voice from the doorway. "Oh? My name is Rob Lucci, you're at Enies Lobby."

"Oh, okay. BUT WHERE THE HECK IS THAT!?" he shouted again.

* * *

The end.

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Of this chapter. yay, for now anyways.

Give me any suggestions for pairings, as long as it has nothing to do with Luffy, I find it kinda weird how Boa even likes him anyways. I also have no idea how to couple him with anyone without changing his personality.


	2. Chapter 2

New Chapter, btw, I forgot to mention that I will be giving Naruto a new Akuma no Mi that I have thought up. I'm gonna make Kalifa end up with Lucci, so no Kalifa x Naruto. She'll just be his Sister-figure. So anyways, whenever I've tried to log on to Fanfiction it wouldn't let me on. yeah... so on with the story.

* * *

_Last Time_

_He brought the bowl over to a table and said 'itadakimasu' and was about to take a bite when he thought of something. "WHERE THE HECK AM I ANYWAYS!?" he shouted._

_"Hm? Oh, you just thought of that? I expected you to ask that earlier," came a voice from the doorway. "Oh? My name is Rob Lucci, you're at Enies Lobby."_

_"Oh, okay. BUT WHERE THE HECK IS THAT!?" he shouted again._

* * *

"Hm... somewhere in the Grand Line," replied Lucci.

"Right, what world exactly am I in? 'Cause last I checked, nothing like that existed where I lived," Naruto said.

"I suppose you could call this world, ... hm... I'm actually not sure what this world is called," he replied, "Let's just call it Planet 'Bob'."

Naruto's face deadpanned.

"What? It's not really my fault that I don't keep track of these things, or the fact that the Gorousei keep this under wraps," Lucci said.

"Fine, but, anyways, where in this world exactly is the Grand Line?" Naruto asked.

Lucci scratched the back of his head for a moment and shouted, "OI! Kalifa, the kid needs a map." A feminine voice rang out, "Lucci,... that's sexual harassment. But, fine, I suppose."

"HOW IS THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT JUST BY CALLING YOUR NAME!?" Lucci shouted exasperatedly.

"..."

"What!?" Lucci asked Naruto who was staring at him strangely.

"You like her, don't you?" Naruto asked.

Lucci began sputtering and blatantly denied everything, all the while a strange blush was developing on his face.

"Ri~ght,... I'll go tell her that then, and then any chances of you being with her will disappear," Naruto smirked, and then began to laugh maniacally.

"Why you- little brat- grr- Argh! Fine! You win!" Lucci growled, "But don't think that this is the end of this! I'll make sure you suffer."

"Lucci, did I hear you threatening Naru-chan?" Kalifa asked as she appeared in the doorway.

"Muu~ Don't call me that, it makes me sound like a baby," Naruto grumbled, making Kalifa giggle. "Anyways, I cooked, eh... what time is it? 10 o'clock? I cooked breakfast," he proclaimed proudly.

"You expect us to eat this, whatever it is, for breakfast?" Lucci asked.

"This is ramen, get it right and ramen is the food of the GODS!" he practically shouted the last part.

"Ri~ght," Lucci said, "I'm just gonna have to go along with what you said, considering it doesn't exist in this dimension.."

"IT WHAT!? OH-MY-GOD! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD! NO, THE UNIVERSE! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! HOW CAN YOU HAVE LIVED YOUR ENTIRE LIFE WITHOUT RAMEN!?" Naruto screamed as the image of a planet imploding appeared behind him.

"Well, actually it does. But, to be honest, the only person who knows how to make it, um... yeah, I don't wanna say anymore, if I do, I'm gonna barf," Lucci said, clutching his stomach.

"What!? Tell me," Naruto pressed.

"Know what? Just let me get out a visual den-den mushi, that'll show you how he does it," Lucci said. A few moments later, he came back with a snail-like creature, set it on the table, and pressed the apex of its shell, broadcasting the video of Wanze using his own form of cooking. The result? Naruto turned into a demon with a dark aura, ready to dissect and maul the creature known as Wanze.

* * *

Somewhere, in CP7's headquarters, Wanze felt a chill running up and down his spine, all the while never stopping his rolling around on the food cart.

* * *

As Naruto continued to plan and plot Wanze's downfall, he began to laugh maleficently(is this even a word? no? too bad, I just made it one) until Kalifa whacked him over the head with a binder, something Naruto and Lucci were sure she didn't have before.

"Regardless of what he has done to disturb you both, I have brought the map," Kalifa said.

"Okay, then, lay it out on the table," Lucci said.

"That's sexual harassment," Kalifa said, causing Lucci to face-fault.

"W-whatever, just lay the map out on the table," Lucci repeated.

As Kalifa put the map on the table and spread it out, Naruto looked at each of the individual islands, memorizing the names and locations of the islands. He looked around and saw that there was a line going through the middle, with barely any islands marked in. In fact, some parts of the map were colored in black. When Kalifa noticed his face, she said, "Some places are impossible to reach, so we can't really put anything there." Naruto nodded. He made sure that there was an imprint of the map copied in his mind.

"Well, anyways, time to eat ramen. And, No, I don't cook my ramen like that Wazne or whatever his name is," Naruto said.

* * *

Sometime after they finished eating, Kalifa walked around with him, bringing him to wherever he wanted to go.

Eventually, he got tired and wanted to take a nap. However, he ended up passing out near the fountain. Kalifa decided to let him rest, letting him fall asleep on her lap. Soon, it became dark, so Kalifa brought him to a random open room and set him down on a bed before retiring to her own room.

* * *

Yeah, I kinda lost my inspiration around the end, and I really couldn't word it properly. So, basically, when I remember how I want to word it, the next chapter will come out soon.

But, once again, please give suggestions on who to pair Naruto with.


End file.
